Pain is really, really hard

I'm fighting for my life. To keep my head out of temptation and things that will construe my life in a whirlwind pattern. I was in a safe place for 16 years. Now I am not. I have myself to blame for that and I hate myself for it. My father who didn't even believe it, tried to steer myself in the right direction. What was I thinking, was it my wants, needs, anything else that was what was right for my soul. Now I am stuck with pain. It is that What he wants. HE will not let it. HE will keep having me paint, having me keep meet stronger people that will build me up, have me continue to build my relationship to where HE wants it to be. Sometimes it is really difficult, however the people around me can continue to bring me up to where I need to be. I am indebted to my Saviour, and my family and friends. IXOYE