October 3, 1994

Sitting at the obtuse shaped table, I tried to hide the fear of what was forthcoming. The room was inviting, white walls, a thirteen inch t.v. with sketch art on the walls placed evenly for the overall peaceful theme. I felt comfortable coming into the room even after toying with the idea that I would run, telling no one. It's how I used to be. Arguing back and forth, it gave me anger towards someone that I used to love with all of my heart. I despise anger. Never go to sleep angry. Always work it out. That's my motto. At least it was. Such a sad change has occurred in the last 365 days. The new look is frail and disturbing. Edgy, cunning and forward. The words dispersed are such a contradiction on reality. My view is amazing. Looking straight forward, I see a completely different person. I sit in peace, wondering if I need to intervene. Then my thoughts are that I don't think I can take anymore of this. Bills, Statements, B.S. are being spit out like it is false. The meeting ended abruptly, unknown of what comes next. I'm sorry for not fulfilling my part. In the end I should have known. Thank You for inspiration, push and equally being my biggest supporter.

June 3, 2010

I MISS MY ("FATHER")

OCTOBER 16TH 2008

I miss him. I really do. As much as I really want to tell myself never to talk to the guy again, I miss him. All of the lies, betrayals, stories that he's told my family, I still miss him. This is the reason. I hate Swearing. I hate it. Ever since I was young I told myself that I would never use language in any capacity. Now "to each his own" is what I always say. Some people have their own relationship with four letter words, but I never have wanted one. Until October 16th. That's when I use it in certain capacity. I am in a difficult predicament. It is so hard to forgive a person that does not want to be forgiven. No matter what your religious preference, if one does not want to hold their hand out, it will not happen. My life has been rocked the past two years. I mean to the point that we don't even need to discuss. I am done being emotional. It is holding me back. From me attaining my dreams, from me starting a family, from me living a normal life. As much as I want to let go and let him live his life, it's so hard to. Why can't you follow what you taught US, THEM to. I know people have their preference, but we are still here. Don't forget us. Don't leave me like a bad habit. I will be here as long as you are here if not longer, praying for you, hoping for you. I need to get over the sentiment "Why us" and look to the future in how I can help you. I know that you still have Him in your heart. I Love You. You will never know how difficult it is for us. 5th time in the year I weep.

Weekend

Wine Tasting with friends
Time away to think about something else for a change
Being able to smile all day
Laughing at my friends
Being able to drink a cold Pacifico at 11:15 in the morning
Enjoying lunch at a Roadhouse diner
Relaxing on a Saturday
Singing songs in the dark at Church
Thankful For Autumn
Being able to hold my beautiful niece
Celebrating the life of a dear friend
Completing two Amazing paintings on Sunday in the park
Chatting it up with my best friend
Praying for the future
Thankful for everything that I have

Uncle Johnny falls for it Every Time

Hey Uncle Johnny, can you read me a book this afternoon? I really want you read me the story about the Mommy chicken and her friends having a party. If you read me this one story I will be so happy and I promise to go right to bed without any complaining.




Monrovia of course I will read you a story! But remember you have to choose only one story and then you have to go right to bed, ok?


Ok Uncle Johnny I will get one book but you have to read the whole story with your funny voice. If you read that one story, I promise that I will go right to bed.






Well I'll go lay down on your bed. Go get your book and then I will read you the whole story with the funny voice and some tickles added in. Remember, pick out your favorite book, because it is almost bed time.



Uncle Johnny this book is so funny, I love these pictures. We can't just stop at one book. We need to read more than one. Can I go pick out another book Uncle Johnny.







As long as your mommy says that its o.k., you may go choose one more book. But remember it's almost bedtime. Hurry up and go grab one more book.



Um..... Uncle Johnny I had a hard time finding one book so can you read all of these to me so I don't have to go to bed? Please, Please, Please?





O.k. Monrovia I'll read them all to you.




5 minutes after receiving this hug and 3/4 of the way through her first book, RoRo was fast asleep. It must be the Uncle presence right? I love my niece.

On a lighter note

I Thank You

You kept it real....

You told no lies

I trusted your words
And you said that it was okay to cry
Hidden from an ocean of lies
But you, you revealed them all
You answered questions never asked
And you showed no regret
And with that I Thank You!
Wishing the truth were lies
Expecting a laugh and you telling me
that it was all a Joke!
The truth hit me, then stabbed me, then
killed me a thousand Times....
I cried that night with the never ending
thought of the truth....
I thought I knew my life, I thought I
understood it all....
But you opened my eyes and unwrapped
the hurtful truth....
And I Thank You for being there, to be by my side,
through it all....
Then quickly it was such a surprise; however
I can never thank you enough for
revealing the truth of where we were headed.....

Someday I'll be

Before I am done teaching I would like to be able to teach a Special Education Class. As a teenager I was in multiple classes following my Head injury. The thing that I loved the most was that the teachers were very helpful in my rehabilitation of getting my mind to relate to the subjects that I was yearning to learn. They went out of their way to really make me succeed, even though I was at such a difficult point in my life. I know many teachers that would strive to motivate their students as far as they can go. Krissy, Carrie, Jennifer, Rachel, and Tom. Kudos to You all. Education is at such a difficult impasse these days that I am worried that I will ever find my niche in Education again. Every time that I start thinking that I have a stable chance at keeping my position in my class it gets taken away from me. I would love to go back to school at some point, get my Special Education Certification and do that for the rest of my career. I can hold on to it as a dream for the mean time; however, in the mean time I love motivating these guys so that they can make themselves into superstars.

Things to fall back on when I feel like S#@&

I came across my Rob Bell book Drops likes Stars last night as I was getting ready for bed and I had some emotion pour out. This weekend will be tough for me. A lot tougher than I thought it would be. I perceived the week as a good one. Starting to gain some positiveness towards life again, while gaining the time to hang with the people that I love at the same time. As I was reading the book I came across a section of the book that talks about suffering and the feelings that are attached with losing the ones you love. I know it will be hard for a while. Really, Really difficult. But as I hit this Fathers Day 2010, I have no one really to celebrate it with. That may be selfish of me, and I'm truly sorry; however from having being able to celebrate Fathers day since I could remember, and again Circa 2002, this year will be trivial. So what do I do......... I couldn't think of an answer to get my spirits up, so i began painting. Before I began to paint, I took my scissors out and began to cut my book. Some things that I had a hard time dealing with for the past year. After destruction there is creation. Well I think so at least. So I began to create. And create I did. And will do.

A FATHER MEANS...

A Father means so many things...
An understanding heart,
A source of strength and of support
A constant readiness to help
In a kind and thoughtful way.
With encouragement and forgiveness
No matter what comes your way.
A special generosity
A Father means so many things
When he's a man like you...

Matt
Ryan
John
Mark
Mike
Jamie
Martin
Joe
Travis
Rick
Brandon

Inspiration

As some might know, I am an interesting guy. I like normality. I love to eat at "safe" restaurants. By "safe" I mean places I've been to before multiple times. Places that I am accustomed to. I enjoy staying near my home, hanging out with friends and going to a nice quiet workplace. Interesting enough, my family on the other hand are the complete opposite. They strive for the challenge, they love the (dangerous) restaurants, meaning the chow cart on International Blvd., or the awesome Mexican dive right down the street from the Prinz' old place that has the most amazing carne asada burritos minus the Sour Cream. What I am trying to tell you is that I am a bit afraid of trying new things in life. I am somewhat scared to think that this is what my life has become the last 6 months. I am at a point where I need to pursue new things every day and it is freaking me out beyond measure. I am sorry if you have seen a change in my attitudes, behaviors, overall charisma since December 25th, but I feel it is for the better. ROLLER COASTER is a better way to put my horrid life for the past two years. To make a long story short, I am inspired by every one around me these days. The Teachers around me, the Chefs at my work, and everyone of my friends near and far! This past week I started painting. I am not that good at this hobby, I just thought that I would start doing it since it seemed like a great "out" if I ever needed that space. The first painting I am working on is labeled "Mere Christianity" It's a reminder for someone in my life that is a solid rock in my Christianity and has been for a while. In time I'll put them up, but for now here is a peek at two that I have already finished.

In Transition

Made my Week

I had an Amazing 10 minute meal Monday night that was so awesome words can't describe it. So I'll let you put two and two together using the pictures. It was kind of an unplanned dinner; just a stop in deal, but I'm so happy that I made the trek. Organic brown rice with chopped up asparagus complemented with some shredded Parmesan cheese. An added bonus was the addition of Tempura chicken sauteed in a skillet (I was awarded the big pieces because the smaller ones taste better). To top it off, a chilled Pacifico to go with great conversation on the steps. It's great to have awesome friends to bide the time with.

From the Inside

I enjoy talking about friends and family
I enjoy writing about the people that make my life full
I reflect on issues that are making me work forward
I talk about what matters most to me
Suffering does that.

It Compels us to eliminate the Unnecessary, the Trivial, the Superficial

there is greatness in me.
Courage. Desire. Integrity.
Virtue. Compassion.
Dignity.
Loyalty. Love.
it's in there-
somewhere.
And sometimes
it takes Suffering
to get at it.
Trust me.....
It's in there.

I feel like creating today.......

1333

Emily Dickinson


A little madness in the Spring
Is wholesome even for the King,
But God be with the Clown —
Who ponders this tremendous scene —
This whole Experiment of Green —
As if it were his own!

Hands Down. my niece is the coolest!

Being Diabetic is not very fun sometimes.

Diabetes affects millions of people throughout the world, and is on the increase. Estimates put the global population affected at 171 million in 2000, rising to an estimated 366 million by 2030. That’s a lot of people, but still a minority (albeit a significant one) of the total population. For this reason the world can still exploit the needs of diabetics, or ignore their needs should their market be directed at non-diabetics. Thus, diabetic supplies such as blood testing strips, insulin, needles, pumps and all the other sundry necessities can be charged out at premium prices with a small cartel of companies holding a nice and comfortable hold on life-preserving essentials.

Similarly, the food industry in particular are able to market highly processed, unhealthy foods packed with sugar, fat and salt at the majority of people with little obligation for the probable health problems and cost to society that ensue. This majority are also encouraged to participate in leisure activities that make few demands on their cardio-vascular health, leading to an ever-increasing tendency to obesity and heart disease.

But what if everyone had diabetes? Everyone would have to start taking care of themselves, or suffer the awful consequences. People could still choose unhealthy lifestyles, of course, but only in the full knowledge that it would almost inevitably lead to loss of sight, limbs or kidney function. Governments would have to take action immediately to prevent the healthcare services being overwhelmed. Diabetes consumables would become cheaper. Research into cures or treatments would be funded by all, not via charities that have to plead to a self-interested minority – everyone would have a personal interest in a successful breakthrough!

I am hoping for the day that a breakthrough is revealed sooner than later.

My Favorite Kids

Carter



Molly




Stella




Avery



Tenley




Chloe




Jackson

Tabitha

Tougher than a lion, Ain't no need in tryin, I live where the sky ends up, Yup

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.

Fun Trip to School and back

Success!

Great Season Guys! Can't wait to go for the four peat in the Summer league!

Softball Championship

Tonight is the Championship. What we all play for in San Ramon. This is serious business people. This team has become a part of me for two seasons out of the year for the past 10 years. Last year we came home with the championship trophy and as tradition with our team Travis Marsh, our Manager, takes home the goods and adds it to the trophy case in the Church. Every year I enjoy taking home a piece of the trophy. The first year I took the ball home, another year I ripped the helmet off and took that home and last year I took the bat. It's just a little memory from a great time out with my friends. Hopefully we can bring home the goods tonight!

Ruby Adelia Prinz

Ruby Ruby

You are so precious. I can't wait for the day when I can show you how cool your uncle is. I know I'm getting sentimental but I'm so happy I have nieces to make the days go by so much easier. I love that you are here now so I can spend some more time with your Sister, Mommy and Daddy. You were so lucky to be born into your family. Your mommy and daddy are so cool. You will find that out one day. I promise to be in your life as much as possible. I am here if you need anything. I love you Ruby Roob. I'm so glad you are here.

Painting like I know what I'm doing

As of a few years ago I have taken up the art of painting as a side hobby. It is not the type of work that my sister Susannah, my friend Le or others do; but it is a place that I can go to pretend to be that type of artist. I really enjoy working with paint, trying to make something out of nothing, and I have come up with a few ideas that I have put down on canvas. Well this next painting will be very special. A very important person will receive these and I hope that they are up to par. I am going to try and complete four canvasses within the next four weeks. I've been having great thoughts and ideas towards this project and I can't wait to see the outcome. While you wait for those, you can check out some of the work from Susannah Eloyse Prinz, oil Painter extraordinaire.

And we will wait

It is a sad, sad week for fans of the best Rock and Roll Group of all time, U2. Bono, the catalyst of the group had emergency spinal surgery after suffering an injury while preparing for tour dates.I'm a little ticked because I really couldn't wait to see them twice in June. However looking at the big picture, I'm glad that he is OK now and will be rehabilitated for the next time they come around in 2011. For now, I guess the MP3 player will do the trick.