As I sit in Room 38 and gaze out at the students, I wonder to myself if my efforts in the classroom are really making a CHANGE. I love my work in the classroom; at least I have for the past four years. I knew it was going to be a difficult task stepping foot back into the class as a SUBSTITUTE after being pink slipped last year; but I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. I recently completed a 5 month position for a very close friend who was out on maternity leave. As disappointed that I was to leave 38, I knew that it was a great time for Her to come back and see the progress of her little kiddos. I am very glad that she is back in the classroom; however I am a bit afraid that the students behaviors will get to her eventually. Entering any classroom as a temporary teacher is a difficult task when the students need to prove their worth over you. I don't know if it's the area or the environment that the students in 38 grow up in, but the attitudes and behaviors that these angels equip are completely unacceptable. I have really never had a problem with classroom management until I came across this particular assignment. My heart grieves every time I enter the hall at this school and I see my first student of the day. Whether its a star student or one of my most difficult, I know that my voice, my command, my comedy and my instruction will be met with a harsh realizationof the real world. Let me reiterate again, I don't think my classroom management plan is the problem. Is it time for me to find a new career and move somewhere far, far away from California? It's a tough question to ask fresh into my 30's, but once I figure something out I may have a bit more peace in my life.
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