Courage

God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

God, grant me Forgiveness to know that
If I choose not to forgive others, they
Won’t lose near as much sleep over
It as I will.

God, grant me Prosperity to know that
If I work toward my goals with a more
Cheerfully creative attitude, and with
More enthusiasm for the process
Instead of the outcome, success
Will be sweeter.

God, grant me Wisdom to realize
That even though I only think I
Received nothing that I wanted….
I always received everything that I
Ever needed in order to grow at
The pace perfectly suited to my
Soul’s real needs.

Favorite All Time (good but hard) blogspots

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2008/09/road-trips-siblings-best-of-timesthe.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2009/11/u2.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2009/11/introducing.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2010/10/big-sister.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2009/11/waiting.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2009/03/remembering.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2009/02/little-ms-surgery-day.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2010/05/new-life.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2010/10/goodness.html

http://goodbuthard.blogspot.com/2008/12/favorite-restaurants-this-year.html

Eye on the Prize

How are you doing? I'm sorry for being distant for a bit. I was just taking some time tonight to think about how thankful I am for my life and what completes it. I have a Chronic disease in which I will eventually fall victim to. It's a daily reminder to me that I have to take each day and treat it like it will be my last. I almost lost my life when I was thirteen. It is also a keen reminder that I need to love my life for what it's worth. My life has been pretty Sucky for a few years ending in my unfortunate separation from the only girl that I ever have truly cared for in my up and down life. It all comes to a head this week as I need to travel to Martinez and sit in front of a judge and argue dollars and sense. I've never been a fan of arguments as most people know. Arguing destroys relationships. It destroys healthy communication that is dire for people to grow within a community. I am very lucky that I have a healthy community of friends around me that can be there for me to talk life, push me towards the positive things that can make my life stronger than it has been and will hopefully be. Wednesday will most doubtingly be the toughest day in my life for quite a long time. It may be the last time that I see my former "everything" face to face. You never know how things will go after this. My heart still bleeds for us. It is now that I see that I need to fight my way through this quite the same way as I have taken other difficult obstacles in my life. I thank you for being there for me this past year. Each and everyone that I know I am thankful for you. You make me smile, which is very crucial as I enter this next step in my life. Thank You.

Tuesday

It's been a long week. I feel like days are running over into the next. I feel really tired.
I want to paint all of the time. I feel good about being semi employed. Round 2 of Judge Wapner hits me next Tuesday. I hate arguments with a passion. I wish having to go through the motions didn't exist. My Christmas Party at the winery is tomorrow night, that should be fun. Swingers Bowling starts 1st week in January, psyched about that. It's Christmastime and time for celebration. The Phillies signed Cliff Lee today, I'm super pumped

about this acquisition. Even though the Phillies are slowly turning into the National League Yankees, I still support my boys in Red. I'm tired and have a full day tomorrow. Have a great Tuesday!

Bombshell

I'm torn tonight, more than I have ever been in the past 2.5 years.
It is true that we are all betrayed by people in our life, but some examples are few and far between what others experience through their lives. I have been unaware and not informed about things in my life that are very pertinent with my maturation in life. They all knew it and I was blinded by the life. Blinded by a person that I thought did so much for everyone with his words and guidance in life. I have had plenty of people tell me that it was your choice, just deal with it. But no, that's not it. You haven't talked with me in almost a year now. Your life choice is now your life. I have said that I will keep praying for you, but just posting that you are an evangelical christian on your facebook doesn't do it for me. Man we've been through a bunch as a family and to hear what I heard tonight makes me more than sad..... it makes me disappointed. Piecing together my relationship for the past 15 or so years, within the last 5 months is tearing me apart. It would have been better if I was there with your other son to feel the shame he endured. You know I really feel left out on my Father's life. I should not feel that way. It's usually the other way around right. The estranged parent missing out on their son or daughters life because of life's misfortunes. Before typing this out I began writing out the words that came directly to my head. I've already been reminded tonight by one of my close friends in AZ that he has always been impressed by my control of my language, so I will refrain from the words that were typed out. I am just very disappointed with my 63 year old Father. Talking the life and living the life has never been included within a double life. So much to get out. Yes, so much however I will never get that chance. 1, even two was the extent that I thought. Hundreds makes my heart cry out Yahweh.

Playlist of Jon Ruff

Here are some songs that i've either discovered or re-discovered lately & that happen to be on repeat often while I do the daily stuff.

with or without you- Scala and Kolacny Brothers

The Call- regina spektor

Runaway (live)- Kanye West

Sigh no more- mumford and sons

How He Loves- David Crowder Band

apologize- pixie lott

The messenger- Linkin Park

Landslide-Tori Amos

Viva la Vida(cover)- Weezer
beautiful- Akon..... yes that Akon

Check these out, they are great songs that go unnoticed among the mass radio and satellite play.

Lyrics that hit the heart

I have never really been a fan of lyrics of songs. Pretty much the main reason I listen to music is for the sound and the tone or beat. Lately, I have been dissecting lyrics in songs as they come alive in certain songs. I write about certain songs on TDLML as if they are helping through certain situations in my life.

During my enriching marriage with Amy, I would find songs that I wished would remind me of our time together. I would listen to music and use that inspiration to help me plan special nights or use the lyrics to add to inspire my writing.

I like Coldplay. Chris Martin has a wonderful Prose while writing his songs. The song The Scientist has been a favorite of mine for a while. I used to dance with her to this because I thought that it was a great love song at the time.

Lately, I have been looking more into the lyrics as a cure to my consistent happiness. However as I was singing the lyrics to The Scientist the other day, the words hit me for a loop. It was just strange to me that we would dance to this song as a love song, when after 8 years of marriage the lyrics actually came to fruition. The bolded words were actually happening. It's weird how things happen like that sometime.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are

Nobody said it was easy, Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.