I Thank You

You kept it real....

You told no lies

I trusted your words
And you said that it was okay to cry
Hidden from an ocean of lies
But you, you revealed them all
You answered questions never asked
And you showed no regret
And with that I Thank You!
Wishing the truth were lies
Expecting a laugh and you telling me
that it was all a Joke!
The truth hit me, then stabbed me, then
killed me a thousand Times....
I cried that night with the never ending
thought of the truth....
I thought I knew my life, I thought I
understood it all....
But you opened my eyes and unwrapped
the hurtful truth....
And I Thank You for being there, to be by my side,
through it all....
Then quickly it was such a surprise; however
I can never thank you enough for
revealing the truth of where we were headed.....

Someday I'll be

Before I am done teaching I would like to be able to teach a Special Education Class. As a teenager I was in multiple classes following my Head injury. The thing that I loved the most was that the teachers were very helpful in my rehabilitation of getting my mind to relate to the subjects that I was yearning to learn. They went out of their way to really make me succeed, even though I was at such a difficult point in my life. I know many teachers that would strive to motivate their students as far as they can go. Krissy, Carrie, Jennifer, Rachel, and Tom. Kudos to You all. Education is at such a difficult impasse these days that I am worried that I will ever find my niche in Education again. Every time that I start thinking that I have a stable chance at keeping my position in my class it gets taken away from me. I would love to go back to school at some point, get my Special Education Certification and do that for the rest of my career. I can hold on to it as a dream for the mean time; however, in the mean time I love motivating these guys so that they can make themselves into superstars.

Things to fall back on when I feel like S#@&

I came across my Rob Bell book Drops likes Stars last night as I was getting ready for bed and I had some emotion pour out. This weekend will be tough for me. A lot tougher than I thought it would be. I perceived the week as a good one. Starting to gain some positiveness towards life again, while gaining the time to hang with the people that I love at the same time. As I was reading the book I came across a section of the book that talks about suffering and the feelings that are attached with losing the ones you love. I know it will be hard for a while. Really, Really difficult. But as I hit this Fathers Day 2010, I have no one really to celebrate it with. That may be selfish of me, and I'm truly sorry; however from having being able to celebrate Fathers day since I could remember, and again Circa 2002, this year will be trivial. So what do I do......... I couldn't think of an answer to get my spirits up, so i began painting. Before I began to paint, I took my scissors out and began to cut my book. Some things that I had a hard time dealing with for the past year. After destruction there is creation. Well I think so at least. So I began to create. And create I did. And will do.

A FATHER MEANS...

A Father means so many things...
An understanding heart,
A source of strength and of support
A constant readiness to help
In a kind and thoughtful way.
With encouragement and forgiveness
No matter what comes your way.
A special generosity
A Father means so many things
When he's a man like you...

Matt
Ryan
John
Mark
Mike
Jamie
Martin
Joe
Travis
Rick
Brandon

Inspiration

As some might know, I am an interesting guy. I like normality. I love to eat at "safe" restaurants. By "safe" I mean places I've been to before multiple times. Places that I am accustomed to. I enjoy staying near my home, hanging out with friends and going to a nice quiet workplace. Interesting enough, my family on the other hand are the complete opposite. They strive for the challenge, they love the (dangerous) restaurants, meaning the chow cart on International Blvd., or the awesome Mexican dive right down the street from the Prinz' old place that has the most amazing carne asada burritos minus the Sour Cream. What I am trying to tell you is that I am a bit afraid of trying new things in life. I am somewhat scared to think that this is what my life has become the last 6 months. I am at a point where I need to pursue new things every day and it is freaking me out beyond measure. I am sorry if you have seen a change in my attitudes, behaviors, overall charisma since December 25th, but I feel it is for the better. ROLLER COASTER is a better way to put my horrid life for the past two years. To make a long story short, I am inspired by every one around me these days. The Teachers around me, the Chefs at my work, and everyone of my friends near and far! This past week I started painting. I am not that good at this hobby, I just thought that I would start doing it since it seemed like a great "out" if I ever needed that space. The first painting I am working on is labeled "Mere Christianity" It's a reminder for someone in my life that is a solid rock in my Christianity and has been for a while. In time I'll put them up, but for now here is a peek at two that I have already finished.

In Transition

Made my Week

I had an Amazing 10 minute meal Monday night that was so awesome words can't describe it. So I'll let you put two and two together using the pictures. It was kind of an unplanned dinner; just a stop in deal, but I'm so happy that I made the trek. Organic brown rice with chopped up asparagus complemented with some shredded Parmesan cheese. An added bonus was the addition of Tempura chicken sauteed in a skillet (I was awarded the big pieces because the smaller ones taste better). To top it off, a chilled Pacifico to go with great conversation on the steps. It's great to have awesome friends to bide the time with.