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Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Do you believe that when the right person looks at you just the right way, at just right the moment, from far across the room, is it possible to lose your breath? Is it possible to want to live more for someone else, than for yourself? Is forever love possible? Does it know no bounds? When you lose someone you love to cancer. When you say goodbye to your father for the very last time. When you fall in love so deeply you can barely hear the noise around you. When you touch the hand of the one who holds your heart. When you kiss the one you know you’re going to love, but don’t love yet.

When you do these things, does your heart drop?

Forever is only a concern if you reach it. No one chases love for forever, if we did, we’d all be disappointed. Right A? The actual feeling of love doesn’t hit us once and stay with us forever, it comes and goes. Just as anger comes and goes, happiness comes and goes, sadness comes and goes, love comes and goes. Which is why I would encourage you, hold onto the ones you love. Hold them as dear as you did the day you fell in love with them. Blow them kisses over the phone. Send them flowers just enough to send the message, not too much that they forget the thought. Touch their hearts with old stories, first dates remembered and key ones attached on the wall for a daily reminder. Write them letters. Kiss them. (I never kissed enough) It needs to be nurtured and honored, because only time can prove the worth of love.

Photo holiday

Thankfulness

So much to be thankful for, even when I don’t feel like being thankful.

I’m am thankful that gratitude as a way of life, mind and spirit makes me happier and healthier.

But, gratitude as a way of life has hardly been a secret through the years.

Thanksgiving is the one holiday that rarely disappoints.

Doesn’t require much more than just showing up.

You just have to come with an appetite, invite friends and family, and then fall asleep on the couch.

But Thanksgiving actually is the most rigorous of all holidays — by taking the day at its word, its founding purpose, I can make it the most spiritual and potentially life changing day!

Kinda tough to be thankful when you still see too many friends and neighbors out of work including myself. When people are losing their homes. When Wall Street is rewarding Wall Street, as the rest of the country waits for the recovery, any recovery, to trickle down.

So, in a world where greed, divorce, employment can cause you to hang your head in despair, what’s there to be thankful for?

Thankfulness takes some discipline, admittedly, but it has a definite upside. And it's more than just positive thinking.

Some say grateful people are happier, more optimistic, less stressed, less materialistic, more physically active, more spiritually aware, more humble.

The principle has always been at work within my life: In everything, give thanks. When in doubt, give thanks.

Grateful people are often people who have suffered, experienced painful losses

Funny, isn’t it, how people who are showered with material blessings or gifted with physical beauty or superior talents often seem to take these things for granted, or just want more?

The Bible says, “For everything give thanks.” Counter intuitive and revolutionary — because anyone can give thanks when everything is going well.

Thanks …

For waking up.

For two eyes.

For a semi healthy life.

For a roof over my head.

Thanks for another day.

Thanks to my family, who puts up with me despite my many shortcomings.

Thanks for the gift of nieces, who are learning these things themselves from there solid parents.

For that small voice within, that chance again, no matter the circumstances.

For freedom of speech — and freedom to write something like this.

For living as long as I have.

For the solitude of late-autumn. The color of leaves. The color of twilight.

The opportunity to teach children towards their future.

For the freedom to worship Jesus.

For forgiveness and grace — because I need both every minute and every day.

And having both, why wouldn’t I be thankful?

2:44 am

Oh boy, What do we have here!!!!!

There are also a lot of [new songs]: four new albums' worth. In addition to Songs of Ascent -- a second set of tracks from the No Line sessions -- and Bono and the Edge's score for the Spider-Man musical (finally set to open on Broadway on December 21st), U2 are working on a "rock album," as Bono puts it, "and a club-sounding album." He expects U2 will release a new record, drawn from that body of songs, in time for their return to North America next year. "That's going to be great. Those people (meaning me to the Oakland and Anaheim show)are going to have tickets to a whole new show with new songs."

August 4, 2010: Just a couple days before the start of the 2010 tour, U2 did an interview with the Italian newspaper, La Stampa. In it, Bono says that U2 now has four separate album-related projects:
"an ambient album, Songs of Ascent"
"a rock album"
a "club music" album
"the soundtrack of Spiderman, the musical debuting on Broadway in November"

Looks like like we will have a great start to 2011! I love U2 and I can't wait to hear their new songs!

Time Flies......

Time.

Flies.

Stands still.

Wreaks havoc.

Brings healing and hope,
And causes all things to decay.

:) SMILES

GUESS WHO I FINALLY GOT TO SMILE?
THE UNCLE JOHNNY CHARM IS STARTING TO REACH RUBY.

The Friend Most Likely.......

To pray for me when I ask: Cornelia Ruff

To be willing to die in my place: Jesus Christ

To make me worry: Bob Lipson

To go to my Cancer Treatments with me: Travis and Adriane Marsh

To Argue with me about what the Bible says: Roland Franklin

To Speak the truth to me in Love: Aaron Ruff

To think the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about: Andy Struck

To Encourage me when I'm down: Shelly Julien

To Know a Bible Reference: Jamie Tedesco

To End up as a guest on a late night talk show: Naazak Taghipour

To Not notice a difference in me: Rick Burke

To be the One I'd feel most comfortable calling in the middle of the night: Mike D

To have more unusual friends more than any of my other friends: Brendan Barry

To be the One I'd talk to about hard, personal things: Autumn Miller

To make faces at the ATM camera: Tracy Shawver and Tawney Hanson

To get me to do something out of Character: Brian McGuirk

heart

Are you happy? Just a question between friends. I for sure know that I am not. Questioning where to head post 30 is killing me. I don't think I've worked this hard in my life. Work all the time and not keeping my head above water. My graduate work, my credentialed work, my life is turning into a disappointment. All I've wanted to prove to myself is am I making a difference... For the students and am I pushing myself to further my life. I'm all over the place right now. I just wish life would turn around. God knew I was heading this way a while ago. I didn't. I need to figure a way to live a semi charmed type of life. And that means a lot more nacho libre outfits and less stressing over failed attempts. I try my best in life. Sometimes I suck as a friend, brother, son, co worker, roommate, etc...... but I'm working toward a better Jonathan. I know that when I paint I feel a new me. Revitalization.

Sadielicious

Loving you my second niece.
Very different, but so happy that you are here with us.
You brighten our lives to no extent.
Happy first Birthday Sadie!
We love you.

poetic

My mind is full of many thoughts
That clutter and confuse.
But standing firm, I will prevail,
In faith that I'll be used.
In a way my life is full of burdens
But in a way You carry them from me
Cause no one understands the way You do
And you know
I don't want to fall away from
YOU

Rain Down on Me

The rain reminds me of sad days within my life that I wish that I could change or do all over again. These days make me sad because in my heart I know that I was the sole generator of certain emotions that struck a chord within my heart and unfortunately a second party. I remember that Sunday a while back when I made my sister Susannah cry. The selfish attitude that I potrayed that morning I will never forget. I remember finding out the news a day before she notified me. I was so upset that my childhood best friend did not let me know before being congratulated by twenty or so church members that morning. However, as we sung "all for you and for your glory" at the now defunct All Nations Church, all that I could think about was myself. As she struggled through the chorus tears started to run down my face as I realized what I had done. My faith clears up rainy days. It's not so much an east coast weather pattern where it has 4 or 5 months of summer and then instant winter, but a west coast pattern that has mostly sunny days, but rain off and on. Because my life is mostly sunny, but I need that reminder where I will have those difficult dreary days where I won't be able to hang with it. So a few days of rain here and there won't hurt you, right?

Brother Time

How do you get brothers with crazy schedules to hang out for
a night? Well, first you catch one off guard by telling them at 7:30 p.m.
to drive 30 minutes and bring some food while he supplies the wine.

In our case, it wasn't going to be wine that we were drinking tonight. It
turned out to be Matt's special concoction with a special addition of absinthe.
While picking out a few pizza crusts at the store, I thought of some toppings that we could add to make our pizza delish. On top of the tasty crust, I added some pesto-basil
cream sauce.

Slivered between the Colby jack and Mozzarella cheeses we snuck in some
prosciutto meat. I joked with Matt that we needed to open our own pizza store because
the final product was utterly amazing.
What better way to share a Cool, wet, dreary Sunday night than
great conversation with brothers (minus mark) and awesome pizza.

It was a bummer this time that the nieces were asleep, however; we were able to have some much needed bonding brother time. I'm not much of a cook, however I will be proud
to say that this pizza looked and tasted Scrumptious!!!!

Every three days

Diabetes Mellitus

Just before my thirteenth birthday I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. The type that requires either daily injections of insulin or intravenous insulin through a pump worn daily. A few years ago, I was able to purchase an insulin pump that keeps my diabetes under a lot better control than the dreaded 6 shots that I took daily. I dread this disease. This chronic disease is slowly killing me and I know that I need to take better control of it since it is becoming one of the top killers in the world today. I have to admit, ever since leaving my house in 2009 I have not suffered an insulin reaction. It's really amazing. I used to have them all of the time while I was married. My doctors have told me that it could have been stress related and that was why I was always having them. But since 2009, I haven't had a low blood sugar that made me have "low" symptoms. It gets to be a bit too much after a while. With everything else adding up, I tend to put my diabetes on the back burner. Well, so much for the description of my health on my blog. Here's to health and better days for all of us!!

Happy medium

This is where I need to find it. I want to find that area where it
is peaceful. For years and years I have always been told that I am
either in the best mood or in a lousy mood. I don't know if it is the effect
of head trauma at the age of thirteen or my impending divorce or my diagnosis
of diabetes type 1 at 12 years old or my fathers choice to leave us. I enjoy having many, many friends; however I can not be the friend to its potential if I am
all over the place with my moods. There are times when I am on cloud nine and nothing can bring me down, and others when I shut down and I become the person no one wants to talk with. Doctors have given me prescription to be at a "happy medium" through daily pills
however I have chosen not to take them. One day I hope that I can find that happy medium that
I am searching for. In the meantime, please pardon my struggle for that ever so difficult gray area.

ADAM

Adam Clayton I am just getting to love you more and more. We have had a rocky relationship through the years, however you are growing on me! Everytime that I see you close up, you amaze me at the level of skill that you bring to my favorite band that make them who they are today. You have come a long way from the 1983 Blonde fro days that made me question your irish style. I can't wait to see your expertise come next June.