Wine Days

I enjoy my new Venture. Working in a wine bar, part time to better service my knowledge of the overall Wine environment in the Tri valley. There are a few things that I need to overcome while taking upon this challenge. First and foremost, I need to learn how to control my right hand. For many of you that know me, I have had to deal with a severe tremor in my right hand since the age of thirteen when I was accidentally shot in the head. It has been a very tumultuous thing that I've had to deal with ever since then. I am very fortunate that the only visual thing that has come from my accident is my shaky right hand. However, I am always thinking in the back of my head what are people saying behind my back whe they see that thing constantly tremor. Which brings me back to my current venture in the Wine Bar. It is hard to control my hand while serving two or more plates (depending on the weight) while also serving drinks. I really love the customer service side of working at the wine bar. It is great to push myself to new levels and see what I can do even thh I am not comfortable. Wine and the taste is not for everyone, however when we pair them with delectable foods, it is hard not to try it out and see what the outcome is. I look forward to pushing myself to new heights to see if I can attain the goal of working at the wine bar while giving the customer my full and undivided attention. Please come visit me out at the winery, it will be great to see supportive friends that I can show my new workplace off to.

All Who Come Begin Again

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way.....

You Love Me

Things that I wish that I was doing on this 4th of July

Fenton's Sundaes

Photo Ops on the Shore

Phillies and Yuengling

Beach time with the Sib's

Rita's Water Ice

May everyone enjoy the Independence of this country by
lighting some fireworks
drinking some beverages
taking a snooze
watching a movie
Enjoying the sun
and taking some time to be by yourself.

61 time for Fun

Someone is turning a year older today

What a great Mom, Grandmom, and Friend She is

Always putting others first and making sure they are taken care of

You deserve a break today Mom

Someone is turning a year older today.

Having Nothing yet Possessing Everything

October 3, 1994

Sitting at the obtuse shaped table, I tried to hide the fear of what was forthcoming. The room was inviting, white walls, a thirteen inch t.v. with sketch art on the walls placed evenly for the overall peaceful theme. I felt comfortable coming into the room even after toying with the idea that I would run, telling no one. It's how I used to be. Arguing back and forth, it gave me anger towards someone that I used to love with all of my heart. I despise anger. Never go to sleep angry. Always work it out. That's my motto. At least it was. Such a sad change has occurred in the last 365 days. The new look is frail and disturbing. Edgy, cunning and forward. The words dispersed are such a contradiction on reality. My view is amazing. Looking straight forward, I see a completely different person. I sit in peace, wondering if I need to intervene. Then my thoughts are that I don't think I can take anymore of this. Bills, Statements, B.S. are being spit out like it is false. The meeting ended abruptly, unknown of what comes next. I'm sorry for not fulfilling my part. In the end I should have known. Thank You for inspiration, push and equally being my biggest supporter.

June 3, 2010

I MISS MY ("FATHER")

OCTOBER 16TH 2008

I miss him. I really do. As much as I really want to tell myself never to talk to the guy again, I miss him. All of the lies, betrayals, stories that he's told my family, I still miss him. This is the reason. I hate Swearing. I hate it. Ever since I was young I told myself that I would never use language in any capacity. Now "to each his own" is what I always say. Some people have their own relationship with four letter words, but I never have wanted one. Until October 16th. That's when I use it in certain capacity. I am in a difficult predicament. It is so hard to forgive a person that does not want to be forgiven. No matter what your religious preference, if one does not want to hold their hand out, it will not happen. My life has been rocked the past two years. I mean to the point that we don't even need to discuss. I am done being emotional. It is holding me back. From me attaining my dreams, from me starting a family, from me living a normal life. As much as I want to let go and let him live his life, it's so hard to. Why can't you follow what you taught US, THEM to. I know people have their preference, but we are still here. Don't forget us. Don't leave me like a bad habit. I will be here as long as you are here if not longer, praying for you, hoping for you. I need to get over the sentiment "Why us" and look to the future in how I can help you. I know that you still have Him in your heart. I Love You. You will never know how difficult it is for us. 5th time in the year I weep.