Thoughts.

Artsy

I wish there was a website labeled Artsy. I'm sure there is something out there with the same idea as Etsy, however; I wish devoted to art in all as a gallery. Speaking of showcasing art I enjoy using Instagram on my IPhone. If you guys haven't checked it out its a great app for filtering pictures and then making them look professional. (For all of us that can't make our photoshop pictures look professional) Art is becoming a great way for me to hide away when I need solace. It is a chance to explore a side of me that was never tapped before. Coming up on the holidays I have seen a way to curb my emotions a bit by working it out on canvas. A Brighter Day is coming. Through art, through companionship, through perserverance..... A Brighter Day is coming.

Touche.

Thank You God........

Thank you God for

The children of mine

Who teach me

That blow my mind.

They entertain themselves

In the funniest ways.

I pray that the innocence

They possess never goes away...

Just what I Needed

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE.

Home is whenever I'm with you.

My frail body  seeks finalization.

Can it ever have a break from the 

continuous bad luck ride? Seems as if life

never can work out for the best.Hands down

my August and September have been the best two

months in about two years.

Plus Points.

Awesome new 3rd Grade Job

Freedom to pursue other key part time jobs

Met some new people, including some ones that i really like

Pretty much September was rocking, going along

great... until last week. Insert Diabetes Type 1. 

There always has to be a sensor or something that 

pops up in my life that when my life is so happy

it decides to screw everything up. I always want

to please everyone in my life. Family wise, work wise,

friend wise. I tried to please too many lately.

Now to square one.

Finding out how to make my life accessible to work,

family, friends, without overdoing myself.Having 

You in my life has helped a lot lately, I just wanted

You to know. A great addition to help me with my stride.

Thank You.

On the road to recovery...

Attitude

There are certain things in life that just get old in life. 

I'm not talking about food, or stinky trash, or even torn clothes. Emotions, lifestyles, choices, attitudes. These things tend to get old after a while. I want to move on and figure out what is out there for me on an emotional level. I'll be the first to tell you that I made some really immature decisions in my long life. Now is the time to make up for them all. In my head, things are coming together as much as I can ponder. My attitude is at an all time high. Choices are made with a wiser head. Finding someone

with a heart of gold and bruises the same as me is doubtful, but feasible. Somewhere close there is an answer to a peaceful life. And that makes me happy today. Happiness makes the heart grow fonder.

why don't we take off alone
Take a trip somewhere far, far away
We'll be together all alone again
Like we used to in the early days
Well, well, well darling

It's been too long since we took the time
No-one's to blame, I know time flies so quickly
But when I see you darling
It's like we both are falling in love again
It'll be just like starting over, starting over

Our life together is so precious together
We have grown, we have grown
Although our love is still special
Let's take a chance and fly away somewhere

Starting over

John Lennon

Smitten.

 

It's 1:31 in the am and I am full of butterflies. Life is good. I'm happy most days. My relationships are great. Meeting new people that have made me smitten all over again. My art as feeble as it comes, is making me take a second look as to where it might be headed. What first started out as a bucket to drown my tears in, I feel that it has matured into something new and creative. I was reminded this last week that I have a wonderful name. Jonathan. Gift of God. I stopped having people call me that because Jon just seemed so much easier. So these butterflies are making my life entirely too positive. I have good days and bad days. But the potential to make these good days great are very positive. Those speed bumps come along and they really sting at times. But in my life, I feel there is always something around the corner. I'm smitten at the possibilities in life. As I try to keep my eyes open at this hour, I think to myself of what a great life I have. My core. Friends, family, jobs.... they keep me going, and its just those opportunities that make me who I am today. Because of You.

i'm sad tonight........

My buddy is leaving soon.

He's doing something that others never do.

Take a chance, a risk with his life and move away

from this large bubble we call the Bay Area.

I met Brian about 2 years ago when I was still working at the Restaurant. He's more than a friend... he's a brother. 

He's talked me through a bunch of things, when I just wanted to quit and throw in the towel. We go back and forth toward arguing about sports with my love for Philly and his love for the Bay. We discuss matters that don't mean much and matters that touch the heart. He has introduced me to the skill of bartending and the amazing ability to Karaoke. I can only laugh and reminisce the times that we sang "I Swear" by All 4 One at the bowling alley as a duet. These times have cemented in my heart a bond that will last forever with this guy. I'm sad already that this guy and Marie are leaving. Genuine doesn't come around too often in a broken and frail life. He came around when I needed him too, just to be my friend! He will always have an amazing place in my heart depending where he is as my buddy, my pal, my amigo. Miss you Bri!

And this part was for her

This one's for the lonely
The ones that seek and find
Only to be let down
Time after time

This one's for the torn down
The experts at the fall
Come on friends get up now
You're not alone at all

And this part was for her
This part was for her
This part was for her
Does she remember?

It comes and goes in waves, i....

This one's for the faithless
The ones that are surprised
They are only where they are now
Regardless of their fight

This one's for believing
If only for it's sake
Come on friends get up now
Love is to be made

And this part was for her
This part was for her
This part was for her
Does she remember?

It comes and goes in waves,
I am only led to wonder why
It comes and goes in waves
I am only led to wonder why
Why I try

This is for the ones who stand
For the ones who try again
For the ones who need a hand
For the ones who think they can

It comes and goes in waves,
I am only led to wonder why
It comes and goes in waves
I am only led to wonder why
Why I try

Greg Laswell

"You may not be able to
change a bad situation,
but with humor
you may change
your attitude about it."

Allen Klein

Hardness it sets in

Sometimes its difficult to set apart the things in my life that are hard and other parts that I just tend to ignore. For instance when I come across pictures that are from my past in which strike a chord in me emotionally. Or when I hear of things that are going on presently that are just entirely mind baffling. I use this blogspot to bleed my ideas, share my positive points in life, and really just mature emotionally. It baffles me how I am growing up and maturing as others are decreasing in maturity and seem to be emotionally losing years. Sometimes, I feel that this was a good thing for me to take a break and really see where I need to be in my life in order to move forward. As I watch this video, I am remembering that I was asked not to have a U2 song as my first song at my wedding. I know it is totally off subject, but I have always felt that was a problem. I lean towards music when I am have a terrible day, week, year. As I look back at it it could have been a sign or just that really needed that song for a boost as I need it today. Trust me, if I ever hit that point in my life again where I am choosing a first song, I will speak up and make sure it's played. This blog today is just a modge podge of feelings as I get ready for work, but it's been on my mind for a while. So here's to growing up, maturing, listening to and playing U2 as often as possible.

Growing Up

I remember how my mom would sing me my favorite song when
I was needing some motivation especially a song she made up just for me,
especially on days when I had gotten into trouble or was feeling sad.
As many of you know I am not a very mean person and I hate confrontation.
Tomorrow will be very difficult for me. I would like to take all of the teachings and lessons I have learned growing up and just try to be an example for Christ through my actions. I'm sure that I will be singing my song throughout the proceedings in my head,
just to remind me of how my Mom always taught me to be.
Be gracious to others and treat them how you would want to be treated.
If I can follow through with that tomorrow, I will have a lot of JOY
in my Heart.

Jonathan, Jonathan Eric Ruff,

you are my great big boy,

you to laugh and play and sing,

and have a lot of joy.

Jonathan, Jonathan Eric Ruff,

you are my first born son,

and i would not replace you

with any other one.

Familiar Terms

Just what I needed after an awesome day with Awesome results!!

For my Sister

August 8, 1991

Wow, our lives really changed that day. I've never felt so scared as when I saw you in a coma in the ICU, with your head shaved and your body covered with tubes. I remember sitting, holding your hand, talking to you as you lay so still. I believed that you could hear me somehow. Maybe you did and that helped you get stronger. Sometimes it all seems like a dream? I wanted to take your place in that hospital. But you were so brave, and you were filled with courage and I remember thinking, "I could never be as strong as Jonathan, if this had happened to me I wouldn't have survived." I remember talking to you into brain surgery when you were still in your coma. Dad, mom and I prayed for you and I saw tears slip down your cheek because you were so scared. I felt so helpless and afraid, but you were a fighter, and you came out of your coma and got stronger little by little. You never complained about your situation. You have such strong character.

Susannah Eloyse Prinz
8/99


Sooz. I love you.

I need Courage

Well, it is no news flash for those of you that keep up with this blog that my life has been depressing at times lately. I figured that i somehow become excited about the small things in life and overblow them beyond proportion because I haven't been happy in a long, long time. and i want a ticket to somewhere that will make my heart content and can make me smile all of the time. My vacation was a case in point. My trip was amazing, however I always seem to overdue it and then fall back into my (depressing sea) of not so happy after the fact. However, I think that I should celebrate the good times along with the enduring bad times as well.

I've been thinking about my life lately and how if I could do it all over again, what would I have done to impress others with my actions, make my family prouder, and really not turn out as such a disappointment(in my own eyes). To tell you the truth I'm upset with myself at the strides I've taken in this life. It seems as I look back at it, I viewed my life as an open book with so many avenues I could take for success. At first I wanted to be a Doctor. I know, I know doesn't every middle school student want to be a lawyer, or a doctor at some point? Well in my mind I wanted to be a pediatrician. I also wanted to work with children in some aspect of work. I chose to go to school to become a teacher and it really hasn't panned out like I had planned.

I contemplate daily where I am headed. The one thing that I love to do with all of my heart is teach. I give my all in my classroom. I want to be in that spectrum and it kills me that I have to settle for day to day work in another teachers classroom, when I've done the work to have my own. I'm not being selfish, I just want a chance. I want to be able to look back at my life and stare at my accomplishments through and through. So far, I have done nothing.

I have been trying to do other things to open the line of opportunity for my heart to feel happiness again. I want to love what Jonathan is doing in his life, so that I am impressed with myself. That might sound weird, but I am just trying to do a self check on my tattered journey in this lifetime. It's hard for me to see my nieces sometimes, knowing what is my future with children. Will I ever get the chance to have them, do I open my tattered heart for another relationship? I know this sounds depressing, but these are questions I ask myself each day as I continue to live this daily roller coaster called life.

I know a few things for sure and that is I love being Jonathan. As hard as it is I would not have wanted to be a different person. Maybe have a different life scenario, maybe a different relationship scenario, maybe a different prospect. But I still love being Jonathan. Still love being Jonathan.

Look at me Now

Tired.
Worn Down.
Wished I was back on Vacation.
Enjoying Pandora Radio.
I love to paint my shadows and my soul.
Not enough hours in the day.
Trying to be a great person.
Quiet nights stretch on.
Ordinary days that move slowly...
"Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Another long Saturday night waiting for
the clouds to push up the day.
Enjoy these Videos.
They are amazing.
Have a great Sunday.

Photo Montague of Los Seattle

And the photos begin.

Some people look like studs on the pier.

While some just looked eloquent.

Some like the cheesy, touristy shot.

and some like the ice cream 3 head hole shot.

Pricey Mistake.....

Time to think, and recollect how nice it is to be away for a while.

Tea with Company

My new best friend

Heart adorned bench at a pier northern WA

Same spot 20 yrs. later

Smiles

I had to visit it....Not really worth 18.95 PP though

Yes I really enjoyed this trip.

I really did enjoy it.

Philly Cheesesteak in Seattle with Cheez wiz?
So So Good!!!

Statue Art

Very Peaceful

Fish throwing time

Red Hook Brewery
Great Company, Great Beer, Great Day!!

Whoopie Pie looked good when I bought it.
Wasn't around for me to taste it though.
Thanks Sav..... Hope it was good :)

The three amigos made it a great break from hectic reality.
Until next Vaca, which will be probably in three years, we'll see.

Beauty

Vacation. A term used lightly in my life from the point that I was young to the present. The places that I’ve been weren’t spectacular, but they were just the things to make my young heart happy. As a family we would travel to destinations that you would read about in your 4^th grade Social Studies book and learn everything about that location, and even more. My father used to be into these learning vacations more than the four siblings were at times. I remember going to North Dakota, The Grand Canyon, the great State of Texas; even Canada, Michigan and Tennessee to visit Chattanooga and Covenant College. We would go to fun places too, like Disneyland, Peaks Island, (a family favorite) and to the gold Country to mine for gold with our pans and magnifying glass. These trips were fun because we were so young and everything was a blast at the time.

I know that the rest of my siblings make it a point to rest each year and go on a much-needed trip, however I have really haven’t had that chance to stop everything and just relax for a week. This week I decided to go on a little trip to Southern California and Seattle. The plan was to just take the week in stride and really just enjoy myself. No really big plans, just taking some time to laugh and catch up on missed opportunities throughout the years. I always enjoy Southern California because it was my home for four solid years of my life. My friends down there are welcoming of my out of insanity lifestyle; that is why I love visiting them as much as I can.

Now the other part of my trip will be traveling to Seattle. A place I’ve been once before. As you can tell from my picture, I was having a fun time up in the Pacific Northwest. I will have a great time just enjoying my time up here. I’m sure it will rain a bunch and be dreary most days, but it’s a new experience for me. You can’t go wrong with that. There are a few things that I want to do while in the Seattle area, and that is hit up the Public market, go to the first Starbucks, maybe even check out a Mariners game… who knows. Now that’s what I call a vacation. Not really knowing what you will be doing until a spur of the moment, great thought enters your head. I’m also dropping off a painting that I finished a while back for my friend Savannah. I really hope that she likes it. Carrying it on the Airplane people were commenting on the intricacies of the cuts and tearing of the top layer oil paint revealing the under belly blue. We’ll see her reaction once she lays her eye on “Kindness”.

To tell you the truth I need this break. I’ve been working really hard lately to not think about the negatives in my life and hang out with the positives. So far I feel that I have accomplished that goal so far in my trip and it can only get better. Here’s to some great pictures, great accompaniment, and an important chance to change my thoughts on the word Vacation.