Honesty

Just Saying......

I will always be honest on this blog. At times my heart burns
but I need this to transition. I try to push my feelings to the side
but at times it's the only way to get it out.....
My entire life I have kept things inside.
I've been told that it's not healthy
this is my rehab in so many words.
Trying to paint can only get me so far
My heart... My thoughts...
The Detailed Laughter in My Life

9 days until................

I enjoy A Cuban with Richard Edward Burke the 3rd

I hang out and play with Penny

I get to laugh at the ugliest Italian Hunter in New Mexico

I get to jump all over my roommate from 710

I Golf with two of my Closest Friends

I laugh out loud at the man who wears sunglasses at 9:15 at night

I am able to snap pictures of fruitshacks that ask me to take a picture of them in front of a statue.

I laugh with partners

I am able to play with my "niece" Tabitha

I get to see my Friends

My life long Companions

9 days until............ is what I've been waiting for.

5 things to like or not to like

Right now I like.......

1. The look of my paintings
2. Chicken Bacon Alfredo Pizza with Ranch
3. ChannelSurfing.net
4. Stanford's Happy Hour (prices and Hanging with my friends)
5. Text messages that Brighten my Day.



Things that I don't like.......

1. No Contract for the 10-11 School Year
2. My life
3. Having to drink my wine all by myself :(
4. Living next to the property manager at my new place.
5. Transition

Have you ever watched The Office with a friend?

It's Freaking Amazing. Giggled, laughed, blushed for 58 minutes? I could watch a whole season on DVD while not getting out of my seat. Well that is to get my glass of wine and my 2 Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies. Things like that just make my soul feel good. Sitting with a pillow on my lap as I cover my mouth to hide the laughter is good, right? I think laughter is good for the soul. At least I know for me it is. Today was a great Day. I didn't work, but I was extremely fulfilled. Things are turning around for the better. A year ago, I was having trouble finding that smile, but, people are making the smile happen for me. Thank you guys. It means so much to me. I can't wait for what's next. GOD supplies me with an adequate life that I don't deserve. My life and everyone that is included in it is a blessing and I thank him for it.

Palette

• Palette (painting), a wooden board used for mixing colors for a painting
• Palette (computing), in computer graphics, a selection of colors
• Palette window, in computing, a window type often containing tools
• the valve under an organ pipe which is connected to the keyboard(s)—as opposed to the stop valve
• Palette AOC, a wine Appellation d'Origine Contrôlée in the Provence region of southern France
• Palette, a villages part of Le Tholonet, which gives its name to the Palette AOC
• Palette Records, a record label
• Palette knife — artist's (painter's) palette knife

My Palette.

Past thirty Days

Creation and Progression

Chunk Titty, otherwise known as my brother Aaron has made a bold, yet solid move in his life. This past week my bro proposed to his stellar girlfriend Sarah. As he has grown up through the years I have seen him mature from a person with out substance to a man that i look up to. It's sometimes difficult to see other people throughout your life that have material things that sometimes make you jealous or wish that you could have. With Chunk, it's the opposite. He doesn't have the flashy car, or the IPHONE 4, or even the latest tech gadget that would make me jealous. It's the attitude, the strong heart, or the friendly relationships with everyone and their mother that makes me wish that I would have matured as he has. As Chunk moves closer towards the much brighter days in his life with Sarah, I commend him for sticking to his guns and doing life how he wanted it to be. A heart of Gold. Willing to put others first. Standing by others through their pitfalls and their highs. An amazing brother, an even better Son, and soon to be an outstanding Husband. Progression can be futile, however sometimes a diamond in the rough sneaks through. Sarah enjoy that diamond. You sure received one of the best if not the best out there.

Positive Growth

Fenton's 11/ 2009

Fenton's 7/2010

You really don't see the change in people unless you look at the photos, I always say. I don't have the chance to see my close family on a week to week basis, mainly because of work schedules, sleep schedules, etc... So every chance that I do, I make sure and take full advantage of Uncle time! My nieces have grown up so quickly, it is just so impressive of how they are making strides in growth. So pumped to be an uncle.

11/2009

6/2010

Pain is really, really hard

I'm fighting for my life. To keep my head out of temptation and things that will construe my life in a whirlwind pattern. I was in a safe place for 16 years. Now I am not. I have myself to blame for that and I hate myself for it. My father who didn't even believe it, tried to steer myself in the right direction. What was I thinking, was it my wants, needs, anything else that was what was right for my soul. Now I am stuck with pain. It is that What he wants. HE will not let it. HE will keep having me paint, having me keep meet stronger people that will build me up, have me continue to build my relationship to where HE wants it to be. Sometimes it is really difficult, however the people around me can continue to bring me up to where I need to be. I am indebted to my Saviour, and my family and friends. IXOYE

Amazing...................

Peaks Island

When I was young my family would travel to Maine and stay in a vacation home for a few weeks in the summer. It was by far the most exciting and interesting trip that we (as a family) would take all year. I remember standing on the rocks, jumping in the 68 degree Atlantic waters and thinking it was the best thing that I had ever witnessed. Until I found the other things on the island that made my 8 yr. old grin smile with excitement. Each day my father, my brother, and sometimes my sisters would head down to the dock where the ferries would arrive and plot out a space on the dock in prime location to catch mackarel. At the age of eight, I really did not know anything about fish, I just knew that I needed to catch as many as possible; because that was going to be our dinner. I remember catching 13 that day, one more than Lewis.


Collecting as many soda and beer cans on the island that I could find and turning them in for a 15 cents a piece. I remember fondly lighting marshmallows by the fire (trying to make mine as crispy as ever, then quickly blowing out the fire), while my mom read us Frank Peretti books and The Hardy Boy Chronicles. I kinda miss those hot, humid, blustery days in Maine catching fireflies by the jar as soon as the sun went down over the Atlantic. It was an interesting time in my life with new things that I had never done before. It was a slow life. Happy that I was there; while not complaining about the barnacles on the seafloor rocks or the massive amount of mosquitoes that would constantly force us to lather on the OFF insect repellent. I feel those days need to be revisited in some form. Whether it is taking a camping trip with my siblings or going out on my own, I need to find my new Peaks Island. Get that 8 year old feeling for a little bit. Even if it is only for a weekend.

I'm An Addict.. It feels so good

Bands I'm diggin to pass the time

Passion Pit
The Temper Trap
The Classic Crime
Chris Tomlin
John Mayer
U2
Justice

Music is a strong part of my life. It will always be and it pulls my emotions up even though there are in the dumps right now. I was a little upset that the U2 concert was canceled, however I'm sure they will be back in 2011. In the meantime, I have some great bands to listen to while I keep my spirits up...........

Why I'm Playing this Week

Each year the golfers unite for 4 really big tournaments noted as their Majors. The U.S. Open, The Masters, The British Open and The P.G.A. Championship. Some argue that The Players Championship is the 5th Major however it is not actually noted as one. Some of the most popular players on the tour Phil Mickelson, Fred Couples, Lee Westwood, enjoy playing the week before the big majors because it gets them ready mentally and physically to take on the really tough challenge of the Major Tournament. Tiger Woods (whether loved or hated) always takes the week off before the tournament to ready himself for what he calls "one of the four reasons that he plays golf". He has admitted the only justification for him playing golf is to win majors and to surpass Jack Nicklaus' record of winning 18 majors. So that is his reason for taking this week off. I told myself that I was going to go out and hit up the links this week and play to get ready for the British Open next week. I need to be in the right mindset as I set out for my favorite Major of the year. So on Thursday of this week, I went out and hit the links with my great friend Ryan. We played at The Bridges, a pretty difficult test in San Ramon. Granted the last time I played I was terrible. I blew up the front 9 and was trying to find excuses to run for the parking lot. Things were different on Thursday. I played a lot better and had a smoother tune up for my favorite major of the year. I shot an 81, with two Doubles. I really could have been in the 70's but my putting was horrific. I know that I am ready for the 3rd Major of the year, ARE YOU TIGER?

Wine Days

I enjoy my new Venture. Working in a wine bar, part time to better service my knowledge of the overall Wine environment in the Tri valley. There are a few things that I need to overcome while taking upon this challenge. First and foremost, I need to learn how to control my right hand. For many of you that know me, I have had to deal with a severe tremor in my right hand since the age of thirteen when I was accidentally shot in the head. It has been a very tumultuous thing that I've had to deal with ever since then. I am very fortunate that the only visual thing that has come from my accident is my shaky right hand. However, I am always thinking in the back of my head what are people saying behind my back whe they see that thing constantly tremor. Which brings me back to my current venture in the Wine Bar. It is hard to control my hand while serving two or more plates (depending on the weight) while also serving drinks. I really love the customer service side of working at the wine bar. It is great to push myself to new levels and see what I can do even thh I am not comfortable. Wine and the taste is not for everyone, however when we pair them with delectable foods, it is hard not to try it out and see what the outcome is. I look forward to pushing myself to new heights to see if I can attain the goal of working at the wine bar while giving the customer my full and undivided attention. Please come visit me out at the winery, it will be great to see supportive friends that I can show my new workplace off to.

All Who Come Begin Again

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way.....

You Love Me

Things that I wish that I was doing on this 4th of July

Fenton's Sundaes

Photo Ops on the Shore

Phillies and Yuengling

Beach time with the Sib's

Rita's Water Ice

May everyone enjoy the Independence of this country by
lighting some fireworks
drinking some beverages
taking a snooze
watching a movie
Enjoying the sun
and taking some time to be by yourself.

61 time for Fun

Someone is turning a year older today

What a great Mom, Grandmom, and Friend She is

Always putting others first and making sure they are taken care of

You deserve a break today Mom

Someone is turning a year older today.

Having Nothing yet Possessing Everything