Bombshell

I'm torn tonight, more than I have ever been in the past 2.5 years.
It is true that we are all betrayed by people in our life, but some examples are few and far between what others experience through their lives. I have been unaware and not informed about things in my life that are very pertinent with my maturation in life. They all knew it and I was blinded by the life. Blinded by a person that I thought did so much for everyone with his words and guidance in life. I have had plenty of people tell me that it was your choice, just deal with it. But no, that's not it. You haven't talked with me in almost a year now. Your life choice is now your life. I have said that I will keep praying for you, but just posting that you are an evangelical christian on your facebook doesn't do it for me. Man we've been through a bunch as a family and to hear what I heard tonight makes me more than sad..... it makes me disappointed. Piecing together my relationship for the past 15 or so years, within the last 5 months is tearing me apart. It would have been better if I was there with your other son to feel the shame he endured. You know I really feel left out on my Father's life. I should not feel that way. It's usually the other way around right. The estranged parent missing out on their son or daughters life because of life's misfortunes. Before typing this out I began writing out the words that came directly to my head. I've already been reminded tonight by one of my close friends in AZ that he has always been impressed by my control of my language, so I will refrain from the words that were typed out. I am just very disappointed with my 63 year old Father. Talking the life and living the life has never been included within a double life. So much to get out. Yes, so much however I will never get that chance. 1, even two was the extent that I thought. Hundreds makes my heart cry out Yahweh.