things i like today 12:13 a.m.

1. Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, It will set you free Be more like the man you were made to be.

2. CHICHARITO









3. Siblings more than ever.

4. Health Insurance

5. Oil Paint

6. Tissues

7. Jameson

8. The upcoming holidays

9. opportunity to teach math intervention full time

10. A meaningful song, that I can pull a thought out of

11. Coffee with my mom

12. Grace

13. A very comfortable bed

14. years starting without being sheltered

15. Michael Diamond, Minnesota Fats, Ricky Pierce, J. Theodore Saleman

i gave you all

Been thinking a lot lately about life status and where that sets me apart from others. My roommate Brendan said something to me within a conversation tonight within the confines of Apt. 25 that had nothing to do with, but brought up memories about my marriage. Upon proposing to ms. Lagrant, I made it a point to to discuss the future and the outlook on each of our views for which we were headed. As I went through the 8.5 years that I dated her, my mind became blurry on what I should do with my life. She was in to nice things, and I provided her things that she wanted. To the amazement of others, I always seemed to spoil her with things that were a bit out of the ordinary, but were appreciated I thought. This is not out of the ordinary for me since I enjoy being generous with the people that I love. Within the conversation tonight, I thought back to a time when I took ms. LaGrant out on a date in San Francisco, within the financial district. I had thought for weeks on a great place that would be great for me to take her. New and hip that she would like, and a bit more pricey equaling the snobby effect. I bought a bouquet of peonies -her favorite- that I hand picked from a peony farm in the hayward hills. I remember telling myself never to tell her where I purchased the flowers, because she would not enjoy them as much as if I told her that I went to pick them. Pretty Sad right? So back to the date. I took ms. LaGrant to a great italian restaurant South of Market within the Alley. It was an alley with three or four restaurants to choose from. The one that I researched was reasonably priced at about 20-25 dollars a plate. The food looked fabulous and smelled even better. However... she didn't want to go to this particular restaurant because she said the outside seating seemed dirty and she didn't want to pay to eat there. So we chose a seafood restaurant right next door. I remember as I shucked my garlic and butter filled oyster that one question that still burns in my mind today. She commented, "Do you think that you can provide for me for the next 40 some odd years in this capacity? Because this is the type of life that I enjoy living" That one question beat me up for a while. I'm not used to having to set a goal that is set upon me, that I know was just proposed to me as a statement to say that it's over. We set our goals as a couple prior to 6/1/2002. That one question was the beginning of the end in my eyes. I could buy ms. LaGrant a dozen peonies every week, buy her a Coach designer purse every month, travel 30 miles to the Moraga TJ maxx to buy her Seven designer jeans weekly and these all wouldn't do the trick. It is better for both of us to find out now. This is the detailed laughter of my life. Even though I show a facade daily to some, it burns inside more than anyone could know.

But I gave you all

Close my eyes for a while
Force from the world a patient smile

But I gave you all

But you rip it from my hands
And you swear it's all gone
And you rip out all I have
Just to say that you've won

From the moment Alexander wakes up with gum in his hair, things just don't go Alexander's way. When Alexander gets out of bed, he trips on the skateboard and drops his sweater into the sink while the water was running. At breakfast, Alexander's brothers, Anthony and Nick reach into their cereal boxes and find amazing prizes, while all Alexander ends up with is cereal.

On the way to school, he doesn't get the window seat in the carpool. At school, his teacher, Mrs. Dickens doesn't like his drawing of the invisible castle (which is actually just a blank sheet of paper), criticizes him for singing too loud and leaving out 16. His friend, Paul deserts him to his third best friend and there is no dessert in his lunch.

At the dentist's, the dentist, Dr. Fields tells Alexander he has a cavity, the elevator door closes on his foot, Anthony pushes him in the mud, Nick says he is a crybaby for crying, and Mom catches him in the act of punching Nick.

At the shoe store, they're sold out of Alexander's choice of sneakers (blue ones with red stripes), so Mom has to buy him plain white sneakers, which he refuses to wear.

At Dad's office, Alexander makes a mess of things when he fools around with everything there (the copying machine, the books, and the telephone) getting to the point where Dad tells him not to pick him up from work anymore.

At home, the family has lima beans for dinner (which he hates), there is kissing on TV (which he also hates), bath time becomes a nightmare (too hot water, soap in his eyes, and losing a marble down the drain) and he has to wear his railroad train pajamas (he hates his railroad train pajamas).

At bedtime, Alexander's nightlight burns out, he bites his tongue, Nick takes back a pillow, and the family cat chooses to sleep with Anthony. No wonder Alexander wants to move to Australia.

Ecstacy

I have been unable to go to a good concert for a while, partly because I've been busy, partly because I've been out of it; but more over because there hasn't been a real reason to go to pay an overpriced ticket to see an uninspirational band. That was until last night........

I'm not such a fan of the beginning of concerts. I think it's cause the openers for bands that are up and coming, usually are not very good. However I was pleasantly surprised by the two opening bands. Starting the night, King Charles wandered onto stage, with the fans thinking to themselves if he was just a roadie checking the mic levels on his amp. He was a solo act, just him, his guitar and his crazy blown out hair. For as weird as he portrayed himself, the music that he created was amazing. Worthy of some downloads. Next up were the other band. They were ok, but not great. I tend to remember names of artists that strike passion within me. And therefore I forgot their band name.

The real reason I am writing this blog. Mumford and Sons took the stage just shy of 10 pm. The act created such a fever that everyone felt alive inside. Well, I know that I was and my troop were. Since Mumford is fairly new to me (being recently introduced to me about 9 months ago from my sister and matt) I wasn't able to belt out every lyric, as if I would have been at a U2 concert.

The band was amazing. I was in awe of the keyboardist Ben Lovett He could barely be contained behind his instrument, and banjo-player Winston Marshall was legit, at times creating a hard, stomping beat. The whole set I felt a raw emotion running through my body. Mumford slashed at his guitar, the band offered its joyful, spiritual signature song “Little Lion Man,” sending fans hopping and dancing in the sold-out venue. The last song of the night was “The Cave,” another radio hit that is among the band’s most immediate and recognizable tunes. The band stepped away from its amps and microphones and asked fans to come closer as they began to perform an acoustic and truly unplugged “Sister.” The crowd pushed forward and listened quietly to the words of family heartbreak, and heard a young band still growing as players, and as comfortable with pain as in ecstasy.

1/2 Way There.

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

I have an extra ticket for Wednesday............

Wanna Go?

Take this Soul.....and make it sing

You can have your wealth and riches

All the things you seek,

Position, power, and success,

The fame you long to keep.

You can earn as much as you wish,

Reach a status high above,

But none of these can equal

Having one sweet child to love.